Chapter 1. All the free t-shirts, hats, squeeze bottles and hip sacks a man could ever want. How to clothe yourself by signing up for on-the-street credit-card promotions.
Chapter 5. Don’t smoke. That’s it. Just don’t become addicted to cigarettes, you moron.
Chapter 14. Kids eat free. Let your bottomless-pit stomached rugrats punish foolish restaurants.
Chapter 18. Art of the well-timed fight/breakfup. Why you should save your big fights for just before holidays and birthdays.
Are you giggling as much as me? Okay, then. I’ll just share one more.
Chapter 19. Things you never ever have to buy. Napkins, mustard and ketchup packets, and straws – the best things in life are free.
And on till Chapter 100. Each chapter is two or three pages long, so it moves along quickly. And the paper is really nice with curved corners so it feels like a luxurious read. The illustrations by cartoonist are also pretty cool.
Here’s an excerpt from Chapter 16: Yay WNBA, that illustrates how sassy and cheap the author, Phil Villarreal, is. Phil is a contributing editor at and a reporter for the Arizona Daily Star. His personal blog is called .
As you flip through the newspaper sports section or watch SportsCenter, it’s common to wonder, “Why the hell does the WNBA exist? The answer is twofold. One is to provide a role model for young girls, teaching them that basketball isn’t as pointless as softball or soccer and could actually pay off if they work hard enough. Never mind that most players make less than your garbageman. The other reason is to provide silver-bullet dates for horny young men looking to pretend they’re evolved and sophisticated.
It’s the second purpose of existence we’ll focus on here.
While the average real NBA ticket price is about $50, the average WNBA admission is less than $15, meaning you won’t have to sell your spleen on the black market in order to afford a game, parking, and a soda.
Volunteering to go to women’s athletic events elevates you to heroic status in the eyes of your potential beloved. All their lives, athletic-minded ladies have had their endeavors belittled and marginalized by even the men they love the most, but you emerge as a white knight who appears to actually take an interest in girls’ meaningless sporting pursuits. You can boost your credibility by reading up on the teams involved so you can toss of little inside-baseball-ish tidbits as you watch the game unfold. And because the tickets cost so little, you won’t even need to wince when she orders at the concession stand.
Got you hooked? I highly recommend this book if you like to save money, have a sense of humor, or are looking for a gift for someone who is frugal.
Contest! Comment on the blog by Friday for a chance to win my dog-eared copy of !!!! I hate to part with it, but I’m too stingy to buy another copy!
UPDATE: This comment from Kelsey makes an important point.
Some funny stuff. The frugality doesn’t bother me – but if I was dating a guy who faked an interest in “girl’s meaningless sporting pursuits”, I’d dump the a—hole. Is that why the author calls himself a “scoundrel”?
SECOND UPDATE: I told the “Scoundrel” author about all the readers who wanted to win his book and asked for additional copies to satisfy demand! So keep on commenting and maybe he’ll send me some more!
THIRD UPDATE: The publisher just emailed to say he is sending TWO more copies. So I have three to give to readers who comment on the blog by Friday. The most interesting and insightful comments will win!