When most people hear the words expectations and standards, they believe they are interchangeable. For the longest time, until about a month ago in therapy, I did too. For me, expectations and standards play a huge role in the relationship spectrum.

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Years: 24

What is my Zodiac sign: Gemini

More often than not, I used to arrive on a first date with a goal in mind. Sometimes, it was just to leave feeling successful, with the promise of a second date that might turn into a relationship. Other times, it'd be to kiss them and ultimately sleep with them. So with these intentions in mind, I could never just go with the flow. Chalk it up to me being a serious organizer, but I liked to have order, and I liked going into a date with a plan.

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People have their own emotions, behaviors, actions, beliefs, scars, wounds, fears, dreams, and perspectives. They are their own person. In healthy relationships there are certain expectations, like being treated well or being respected.


Jay Shetty is an internet personality, storyteller, podcast host, purpose coach and former monk who is making wisdom go viral. If we have a wound, we need to step up and initiate healing ourselves. Know that you have done what you can, and move on. Jay Shetty encouraged his listeners to look to Stephen Hawking for inspiration. Sometimes an affirmation is the nudge we need to be confident.

A new year and a new decade are upon us.

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Hawking used that freedom to have a profound impact on the world today. Keep your eyes forward but work backward.

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Have you ever worn something just because someone told you it looked good, even if it made you feel self-conscious? Start small. If you want to get to a place where you are ready to form new relationships and start again, forgive the mistakes you have made and embrace the lessons you have learned.

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Not holding out for an with frees a person up to move forward. Other times moving on involves stopping the negative thoughts and self chat that comes with feeling we are to blame for how the relationship went. In the end it will be much better. Even if the end of the relationship brought relief, it can be hard to find closure and let it go. Not expecting explanations from expectations frees up space for you to explain how you feel about something — no strings attached.

Jay Shetty believes good communication is the key in situations like this. The brilliant man who gave the world so much was given a zero percent chance to live past the age of Instead of being paralyzed by the weight of that realization, however, he met the situation head on. Remember, progress is the goal, not perfection. Stretching those muscles develops confidence, and true strength comes in sitting with emotions and being honest about them.

Jay Shetty knows the pain of this all too well. Get your weekly dose of well-being. Sometimes moving on means being honest about what you brought to the relationship and what you need to learn in order to move forward in a healthy manner.

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Jay Shetty urged listeners to take care of their own wounds. So much time and effort can be wasted expecting apologies we may never get. Be kind to yourself, end the chapter well, flip theand start fresh. In the past, Shetty waited for other people to spot him, appreciate him, and build him up.

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It can be hurtful when our excitement is not reciprocated. This is the time of year where everyone looks forward.

1. you expect your partner to look like brad pitt, or liam hemsworth, or whoever gets you going—always.

Shetty challenged listeners to imagine what the new year could look like for out from under the expectations of others in these six and urged them to simply start. If you have been clear, you have done your part. It takes work to develop the vocabulary to explain your thoughts or feelings to others. A relationship that ends without proper closure can really be harmful to emotional health and self-esteem.

Pin Weekly wisdom in your inbox The newsletter that elevates your life. Sometimes even if someone DID intend to hurt you, they may have no interest in apologizing. Take some time out and present the case before them. Speak well about yourself.

Boundaries & expectations

Have you ever internally fumed at someone only to realize they had no idea they hurt or offended you? It is not arrogance, it is assuredness.

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Taking the pressure off allows us to really live. In addition, be quick to offer yourself an apology.

The dos and don’ts of setting boundaries and expectations in a new relationship

Expectations of others stop us from acting as our highest selves and reaching our full potential. Truly confident people believe in themselves, not what other people believe or say about them. Start intentionally. In this podcast, Jay Shetty pinpointed six areas of expectation that hinder true forward movement. Make a promise and stick to it.

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It is powerful to connect with people over shared dreams and interests. Addressing these areas and putting your expectations of others to rest will help set the stage for a solid start in the new year. Think about it.

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Find me on. Often, however, we end up uncomfortable because we sought external validation over our own comfort. How many have been haunted by that line? Let it go. Start believing in yourself now, even if you have to start small.

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Waiting around for someone to come back and heal us is futile. There is freedom that comes from getting out from under the expectations of other people. When you stop expecting someone else to heal the wound in order to gain closure, you can gain closure yourself. No expectations meant total freedom. We crash and burn when trying to fit in or find validation from someone else.

The difference between expectations and standards in a relationship

Do you shake your head when you reflect on how you spent money on it because it was the cool thing to buy at the time? Jay Shetty sat down to talk to his audience about expectations in a recent episode of On Purpose with Jay Shetty. Trust your gut. The hidden beauty of choosing to give yourself closure is that you get to write the story.

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Have you explained it to them or just expected them to see things and understand? There are people who will appreciate what you have shared and connect with it.

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