Years: I am 33
What is my ethnicity: I'm from Finland
Eyes: Soft gray-green eyes
What is my gender: I am girl
I understand: English
My figure features: My figure type is quite slender
What is my hobbies: Looking after pets
If you find yourself in need of immediate help, call Emergency Services — For other phone, chat or text support options, visit our Get Support section. Sharing can make you feel less alone and help relieve the stress of dealing with challenges by yourself. The person you talk to may be able to offer reassurance, support, information, or help you get connected with services in your community or online. If you just want to talk, a friend may be a great choice. Think about what method of communication you feel most comfortable using to start the conversation.
I might be more attractive, I might have more friends. I really like this advice.
But it's in your power to ensure you react to it in a way that reduces your anxiety. Emmen Champion Alumni. Hello J, You sound like someone who analyses every aspect of your life thoroughly so that you can strive for perfection.
This is definitely a place you can come and not worry about being judged. I like to analyses every aspect and make sure I wont make mistake in the future. In my case, I usually ask myself "so what?
They have a better job. I hate myself being a person like this. I might even talk to a trusted friend and tell them that I'm feeling really down about the situation.
This is a space to ask questions, share experiences and support each other. It affects me and my relationship with family. Hi Emmen, You are right. It's also good to distract yourself from your worries by doing something that calms you.
They will then often remind me that there are different factors to consider in the situation. When it comes to comparing yourself to others, something that I do when I find myself doing this is to list 5 things that I am and I try to make it about my personality, for example resilient or thoughtful.
I do not have big issue. So say I didn't spend as long as I could have on the asment and trick myself into thinking 'well I didn't actually try my best', I might need to consider what else was going on in my life at the time and remember that I did my best with what resources were available to me at the time, for example only leaving myself 1 or 2 hours to finish it because I felt too exhausted leading up to it to start sooner.
I want to be better than others. Keep sharing and talking these things through. They have a wealth family. Your issue may not be 'big' compared to other people, but if it's upsetting you then it is important. It might benefit you to tell them that when they say that to you, you feel even more upset. And then I'd tell myself to have faith that things will work out somehow now too.
As for the voice that asks you "what if", you can't stop your thoughts. I am a perfectionist. You sound goal-oriented and driven. Don't lose hope. Hi JoC18, I hope you have taken some of this advice on board but if you feel like you are still struggling I thought I would mention some things that help me when I am feeling the way you have mentioned.
You are right.
I just would like to talk about it and throw everything out when no one judges me So let me start. I hope this helps a bit. So for example when I catch myself thinking "I'm so dumb I got such a bad grade", I will stop and pause and think "I wish I did better on that asment, but I did my best". They are prettier, they are more attractive, they have more friends. You are ambitious. Regards J. I hope you keep posting, Jess. Thank you everyone for listening to me. But I cannot control. I understand that I should not waste time on those people but I should spend more time and effort in maintaining a health relationship with close friendsI cannot as I am not interested in the relationship once the relationship is well established.
Now I am thinking if I did this and that, or not to do this and that in the past, then I might be a better person now.
Another method that has worked for me that maybe you could try is writing a list of negative thoughts you have and combating them with positive thoughts e e. When you mentioned that sometimes to you just want to talk to relieve the negativity but you are just told that you are wrong, I wonder if the people you are talking to are trying to let you know that they feel differently about what you are saying and that they appreciate you for all that you are. Their grade is better.
Before you can post or reply in these forums, please our online community and have a read of the community rules. But it is really much appreciated to talk about all of these horrible thinking without being judged by anyone. And from there you can try to have an open conversation about what they actually mean when they say this to you. up below for regular s filled with information, advice and support for you or your loved ones.
Something I find helps me is reframing negative things I say to myself. You will not be judged here : Warm wishes, Emmen. Or I will challenge this original thought and say "What would I say to a friend in this situation" and then I will say that to myself. Complete your profile the online community Community rules.
I have a lot of "what if", "what about" and "if it happens" Therefore, I am always worried and unhappy. When they like me, I think mission is completed and let me move on. Welcome to the Healthy Families forums! We all are unique in our own way, and what's important is for us to be comfortable in our own skins. Thirdly, I like to compare with others. It upsets me when I start comparing but I cannot stop! I have a lot of negative feeling recently. I am upset about what I did in the past. I will be upset and hopefully they can like me eventually.
Doing art for instance, or jogging. You sound like someone who analyses every aspect of your life thoroughly so that you can strive for perfection. And I also feel negative about how my friends have a better life because they are luckier and make me envy.
There are so many good things about each individual person including you and just like you see the positives in others you will benefit from pointing out the good things in yourself, to yourself. You are currently: Home Seeking support Helping yourself and others Online forums. Like you, I also used to be a perfectionist. How can I change.
I understand it would be frustrating to hear that your thoughts are wrong as it can make you feel like your feelings are invalid. So let me start I am upset about what I did in the past.
Forum membership is open to anyone residing in Australia. I wonder why others have what I do not have. To me, I feel like it is a challenge to get everyone likes me.
All the best, Zoe. I have these thoughts as well. There's always a voice asking me "what if" for pretty much everything I do. Sometimes I am extreme to the point that I would like family members in my family to be perfect too.
One lesson I've learnt over the years is that no one can be perfect. It won't be an instant change, J, but chip away at it slowly and you will get there. Find a relevant thread or start your own! I don't see anything about you that you should hate. I wanted to be "the best". There might be less people who dislike me Secondly, I am a weird person.
I know it is a horrible feeling and I should not see it this way. I might be more successful. I began to realise that the more authentic I was as a person, the freer I was with just owning who I was flaws and allthe need to be better than others became less.
A little tip that might help give you confidence to be more open is to ask yourself these questions when you notice yourself talking negatively.
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