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You could be doing something as mundane as turning left at the intersection during rush hour or looking for your keys on a hectic morning. Or you could be preparing for a potentially pivotal event, such as a meeting with your boss , a big presentation or a promising first date. At any given time, the urge to talk to yourself can happen. Jessica Nicolosi , a clinical psychologist based in New York. She adds that, in the same way we seek trusted companions to bounce ideas off of, we talk to ourselves for many reasons. For example, you may feel some stress about turning left or anxious being late if you don't locate your keys.

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Do you need to talk to someone right now? Do you feel alone and lost?

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Mix things up a bit. I would love to tell you that I completely overcame my insecurities, but the truth is, I still feel remnants of those old childhood pangs; shyness. It gives us common things to talk about and bond with.

Without life experiences, what do we talk about. No one wants to be around someone who complains about everything. Complaining about everything is a little bit like being really uptight. Sure everyone has felt shy at one point or another in their life, but I was shy to the point that It was debilitating. Without these experiences, I might not have moved to France, Eloped to Scotlandor moved to Japan when I was 18 years old and lived there for 3. Which one are you? All Smiles or all frowny?

Why you can’t stay lonely forever

Ok, you may continue reading, or Not. The choice is yours. When my boys were young, money was tight, and I barely had enough time to do the bare essentials; work, take care of my children, cook and clean.

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I used to be so hung up on climbing the corporate ladder. Solution : Chronic complainers feel as if the world has given them the short end of the straw. I hope my story and some of the things I list in this article give you some ideas and help with your particular situation.

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I had to work really hard on my facial expressions. I had and still do have an unusually higher sensitivity to outside stimuli big personalities, and hectic environments. The first step in overcoming some of your fears about being a boring person is recognizing that these are irrational fears. A situation that was scary in and of itself but at the same time, I saw it as an opportunity to reinvent myself. Solution: When I think about fun or happy people in my life, I picture them smiling, laughing and just being jovial.

I think making someone laugh was a self-defence mechanism to admit to a flaw and make light of it through laughter before someone else could notice or say something.

Go ahead, talk to yourself. it's normal —and good for you.

I never considered myself a downer until I met someone who was. Here is what years of experiments and trial and error have unearthed for me. There is usually another underlying chat or desire underneath all the criticizing and complaining. People who feel me have a hard time believing I was ever a shy or insecure person who worried if other people thought I was tonight.

I always had an excuse. Smiling is also contagious. How I Beat Expat Boredom. Why I Was Bored living in France! I love drawing in photoshop and illustrator, yoga, learning the Ukelele, crafts and DIY. I look forward to these things which I think make me more interesting to others, especially those that share my interests. Listen, take a step back and examine your motives for complaining. Pick and choose your battle and let loose once in a while. You have no drive to do anything beyond working, eating and sleeping. Discover what's stopping you from saying what you want to say, Conversation starters and more.

By putting yourself out there, you have the added benefit of having like experiences outside of work, which means you just might have more to talk about. I think it may have been why I was so shy, especially in crowds. They look around, and all they see are problems and trouble instead of relaxing and having fun. Fun people like to laugh, tell jokes and let loose once in a while, the total opposite of an uptight person. Start right now. The next time you make eye contact with someone, smile at them and see what happens.

Your ability to have interesting and meaningful conversations will not only help develop your people skills; it will improve your life. Listen to them and genuinely be interested in what they have to say. The problem is you have no idea how to be less boring.

We should be friends

Fun people tend to get out there in life and do things. I had to do a lot of things outside of my comfort zone.

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Solution: Make time, even if only once in a blue moon, to do something out of the ordinary — anything, big or small. Read books about being a magnificent storyteller. In reality, it was probably my anxiety showing through, and then it just became my face in its natural state. I feel things very deeply. It was both exhausting and unnatural. Laugh at yourself once in a while. You may not even see yourself as a downer, but call yourself a realist. The fear that other people will find me boring sometimes creeps back into my head. An empath, according to Dr. These childhood struggles and worries left their mark on my life and scarred part of my soul, but they also helped shape who I am today.

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To say that it was hard for me to get out there, try new things and have a life is an understatement. The simple act of smiling can not only lift the spirits of another person but also your own.

Is anyone else this isolated?

I still work hard, but now I try to play just as hard. Solution: Spend more time outside of work. It consumed me and my life. Solution: Sometimes life can get you down but when life gives you lemons make lemonade.

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All I wanted to do was get the hell out of there. Solution: Get a hobby, get out there and meet other people who enjoy that same hobby. Solution: Resist your urge to be overbearing and controlling or judgy. It can give you purpose and make you feel more fulfilled.

Try it; it works. All I could see were problems everywhere, and it consumed me and oozed into other parts of my life. Who wants to hang out with someone who enjoys working more than they like laughing and having fun. My life started to change after that and some of my fondest memories were during this period when I learned to feel better in my own skin and learned my irrational fears of being boring were controlling my life.

I do, however, admire charismatic and lively people with vibrant personalities. Conquering my fears gave me the courage to suck the marrow out of life. I imagine artists and athletes might be in this category. By facing my fears and insecurities, I was facing my bully, acknowledging its presence but not letting it have power over me.

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: Not everyone has the time, money or inclination to get out there and suck the marrow out of life. Stop planning everything.

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Unfortunately, I saw a little of myself in this other person. Improve your conversations and say goodbye to boring small talk and questions about the weather. Looking back, I should have tried harder or made more time to do things outside of my routine. I ended up droning on and on, talking only for the sake of talking. It made me a not so fun person to be around. : When I think of a boring grouchy person, I picture scowling faces and furrowed eyebrows.

By doing so, I built courage and achieved personal growth.

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