There are a ton of senior chat rooms available nowadays. From a place seniors can chat with peers, to topic-specific forums, these chat rooms are a great place to connect with others.
Years: I'm 47 years old
What is my hair: Dark-haired hair
What I like to drink: Brandy
I was 19, the first time, and a soldier on leave in France. It's not uncommon to hear stories like this when you're talking about sex. I'll never forget being in front of a particularly quiet group of seniors, when this year-old man started telling this story of his first time. He looked back on this experience fondly, and he greased the wheels for an open conversation by the group about their sex lives. As in all of my groups about sex over 60, we talked about redefining sex as we age, and of course about HIV and staying safe.
Find new ways to enjoy sexual contact and intimacy. Change your routine.
A positive attitude and open mind can go a long way toward improving your sex life as you age. Look ahead. Change the time of day when you have sex to a time when you have more energy. And as an added bonus, you may find that just talking about sex can make you feel sexy. In fact, sex can be more enjoyable than ever. For example, try being intimate in the morning rather than at the end of a long day. You may belong to a generation in which sex was a taboo subject.
Sex has the power to:. Stretch your experience. The senior years—with more time and fewer distractions—can be a time of creativity and passion. With proper information and support, your later years can be an exciting time to explore both the emotional and sensual aspects of your sexuality. Do your best to avoid dwelling on how things are different. Try oral sex or masturbation as fulfilling substitutes to intercourse. Find something that relaxes both partners, perhaps trying massage or baths together. Having an experience together, sexual or not, is a powerful way of connecting intimately.
Remember that maintaining a sex life into your senior years is a matter of good health. A good sex life—at any age—involves a lot more than just sex. Talk to your partner, and protect yourself. Simple, creative changes can improve your sex life. As an older adult, you may feel wiser than you were in your earlier years, and know what works best for you when it comes to your sex life. As an older adult, the two things that may have brought the oldest joy—children and career—may no longer be as adult in your everyday life.
Try to chat up to the idea that sex can mean many things, and that closeness with a partner can be expressed in many ways. Some older adults give up having a sex life due to emotional or medical challenges. Even if you have health problems or physical disabilities, you can engage in intimate acts and benefit from closeness with another person. Be playful. Without pressing worklo or young children to worry about, many older adults have far more time to devote to pleasure and intimacy.
Try sexual positions that you both find comfortable and pleasurable, taking changes into. For women, using lubrication can help.
Your experience and self-possession can make your sex life exciting for you and your partner. Naturally, your body is going through changes as you age. Speaking openly about sex may not come easily to you, but improving your communication will help both of you feel closer, and can make sex more pleasurable. Naturally, sex at 70 or 80 may not be like it is at 20 or 30—but in some ways, it can be better.
Broaching the subject of sex can be difficult for some people, but it should get easier once you begin. As you age, try to let go of expectations for your sex life. Tell your partner what you love about them, and share your ideas about new sexual experiences you might have together. Sex can also be about emotional pleasure, sensory pleasure, and relationship pleasure.
For men, if erectile dysfunction is an issue, try sex with the woman on top, as hardness is less important. You can restart a stalled sex drive—and get your sex life back in motion. Use your time to become more intimate. Use humor, gentle teasing, and even tickling to lighten the mood.
Sex as you age may call for some creativity. Tease or tickle your partner—whatever it takes to have fun. And studies now confirm that no matter what your gender, you can enjoy sex for as long as you wish. Relaxation fosters confidence and comfort, and can help both erectile and dryness problems. Older people often have a great deal more self-confidence and self-awareness, and feel released from the unrealistic ideals of youth and prejudices of others.
There is much you can do to compensate for the normal changes that come with aging. Encourage your partner to communicate fully with you, too. Intercourse is only one way to have fulfilling sex. But the vast majority of these issues do not have to be permanent. You look and feel differently than you did when you were younger.
Let your partner know how you are feeling and what you hope for in a sex life. Touching, kissing, and other intimate sexual contact can be just as rewarding for both you and your partner. You may have intercourse less often than you used to, but the closeness and love you feel will remain. Personal relationships often take on a greater ificance, and sex can be an important way of connecting.
Honesty fosters trust and relaxes both partners—and can be very attractive. Without accurate information and an open mind, a temporary situation can turn into a permanent one. Love and appreciate your older self.
Discuss new ideas. Being playful with your partner is important for a good sex life at any age, but can be especially helpful as you age.
Reap the benefits of experience. Sexuality necessarily takes on a broader definition as we age. And with children grown and work less demanding, couples are better able to relax and enjoy one another without the old distractions. Hold hands and touch your partner often, and encourage them to touch you. But talking openly about your needs, desires, and concerns with your partner can make you closer—and help you both enjoy sex and intimacy.
Be honest. The need for intimacy is ageless.
You can avoid letting this happen by being proactive. Or try connecting first by extensive touching or kissing. Holding each other, gentle touching, kissing, and sensual massage are all ways to share passionate feelings. The key to a great sex life is finding out what works for you now. Being playful can make communication about sex a lot easier.
The independence and self-confidence that comes with age can be very attractive to your spouse or potential partners. Share romantic or erotic literature and poetry. No matter your gender, you may feel better about your body at 62 or 72 than you did at And it is likely that you now know more about yourself and what makes you excited and happy. As an older adult, you need to be just as careful as younger people when having sex with a new partner.
As you find yourself embracing your older identity, you can:. Natural changes. With the issues you may be facing physically or emotionally, play may be the ticket to help you both relax. Expand what sex means.
For a of reasons, though, many adults worry about sex in their later years, and end up turning away from sexual encounters. Start with a romantic dinner—or breakfast—before lovemaking.
Because it might take longer for you or your partner to become aroused, take more time to set the stage for romance, such as a romantic dinner or an evening of dancing. Confidence and honesty garner the respect of others—and can be sexy and appealing. If you want to try something new, discuss it with your partner, and be open to his or her ideas, too.
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